Today was a hard day, a very hard day in fact. I was extremely depressed, didn't know what to do with my life. My girlfriend left me, I lost my job... everything was horrible. But then there I found it, it was beautiful, it was so bright I could barely see it. It was glorious, a being so complex yet so simple at the same time. Some may consider it a friend, others a family member, some may even think of it as a lover. The thing I found that changed my life was a marvellous, majestic... DILDO. I call him Pepper.
- The End?